“Amore, I want my daughter to be exactly like you.”
“Don’t, she won’t have a good life. Smart women often don’t finish first,” I replied with an attitude.
“Her path will be smoothly carved, don’t you worry about that. Why do you think I still work 15 hours a day?”
I said nothing and sighed.

That is the difference between him and me.
He wants to give her the best, I want to prepare her for the worst. It scares me that he will give her too much. It made me think about how I am going to raise my children.


1. How To Survive

It is easy to learn how to spend money; It is harder to learn how to keep money. But it is even harder to learn how to survive.

My children won’t need me to teach them how to have expensive tastes, they can learn themselves.

I want to throw them into the most difficult situations, I want to crush them into pieces.  Because I want to make sure nothing can crush them again in the future.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.

– Josephine Hart

My children need to know how to feed themselves when they are penniless. My children need to know how to be flexible and get themselves out of difficult situationsLife is like the wind, it doesn’t just go one direction. Power changes hands all the time.

You cannot be the change you want to see in the world… unless you can survive.

If one day they need to bribe someone to save their sibling’s life, they need to be able to do it. My children need to know how to pick themselves up off the floor.


2. Invest In People

Most people want to bring their kids to the best places, I want to bring them to the poorest and most complicated area. I want them to see the real world outside their bubbles; they need to understand their responsibilities.


Two thousand years ago, during the Warring States Period, China was divided into 7 states: Qin, Chu, Qi, Yan, Han, Wei, Zhao.

One day Lü Buwei, a wealthy merchant saw a rare investment opportunity. He came home and asked his father,

“Father, What is the profit on investment that one can expect from plowing fields?”

“Ten times the original investment,” his father replied.

“And the return on investment in pearls and jades is how much?”

“A hundred times.”

“What about investing in a person?”

His father replied with a smile, “That will be beyond an estimate.”

Lu Buwei had a vision, he was willing to bet his wealth, career, family and life on a long-term investment. Because he recognized the value of investing in a person, he became the most powerful person in China. He raised Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of China who unified the country for the first time and changed China’s history.

Money, power and fame all fade, only kindness will last. I want them to always treat people the way they want to be treated. Invest in people. If one out of all the people they help, remembers and helps them when they struggle, it is a good investment.


3. Learn. Unlearn. Relearn.

Never believe everything they see, hear and read. They need to learn to make their own judgements. Don’t bother learning unless they can unlearn.

The illiterate of the 21st Century are not those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.”

– Alvin Toffle

It is more dangerous knowing the wrong information than knowing nothing.

My children need to earn everything they will have and know how to survive. It is hard to build a legacy, but it is harder to keep it. Only tough people can survive.


Money can buy a lot of things, but often it cannot buy what you want the most. Love, attention and time are often wanted more. Not everyone realizes that.


I stare into the screen and wait for a rare free moment in his 15 hour work day. Deep down I know I am forgotten…today.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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About Cam Mi Pham

Cammi Pham (@cammipham) is a digital marketer by day at ThinkRenegade, blogger by night, unlearner 24/7.  Cammi is a Medium Top Contributor, Quora Top Writer and TEDx Speaker. Her work has reached millions of people and has been translated into many different languages. Cammi has been featured in the BBC, Business Insider, Adweek, Yahoo, Lifehacker and more. Cammi lives by her personal motto, “Learn, Unlearn, Relearn.”

Email: contact@cammipham.com