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How to Conquer the World

I thought about throwing plates. But there is a problem. Who will clean them up?

Maybe I should destroy a dress. But my clothes are rare vintage pieces. They are not replaceable.

Maybe I should pour scotch. But I am craving for apple martini and I don’t know how to mix. Forget alcohol.

Maybe I should eat. But I am already chubby. Who will pay for my personal trainer? Diet programs are expensive.

It was 6:30 p.m. He was still nowhere to be found. Read more

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Why I Lie, Cheat, Steal And Kill, And You Should Too

Why I Lie, Cheat, Steal And Kill, And You Should Too

This was the script for my TEDx talk – The Four Sins Of Success.

I have a confession to make.
I cannot hide it anymore.
I have committed a lot of crimes.
This is the reality.

I lied. I cheated. I stole. And I killed.

You must be asking why I have committed such horrible crimes.

All my life, I have seen countless smart, and hardworking who are unsuccessful. I cannot count how many unsuccessful people who are chasing their passions.

I asked myself what are the real keys to success?
And I realize they are to lie, cheat, steal and kill

Life is just like riding a bicycle, if you stop moving you will fail.
If you don’t ride a bicycle, you are less likely to get an accident.
But if you do.
If you go out there and face your fear.
If you get on that scary bicycle.
If you are willing to fall and hurt yourself, one day you will get to the finish line before everyone who chose to walk.

In life, if you don’t put yourself in danger, you will never have a chance to experience all the wonderful opportunities out there.

That is why I chose to lie.

LIE

I have never been an expert in anything.
I started a nonprofit organization before I knew how to write a proposal, get funding or promote a campaign.
I became a marketer, before I knew what marketing was.
I started a business, before I knew how to sell.

Not being an expert makes me a better person. I put myself in dangerous situations where I must move forward.

Because I knew nothing, I didn’t follow the rules.
Because I knew nothing, there weren’t any best practices.
There was no limitation, I could see the situation from a different angle.
Because I knew nothing, I thought like there was no box.

As long as you still accept the existence of a box.
It doesn’t matter if you are inside or outside, the box is still there.
You are still influenced by the box.

Crush the box and think like there is no box

Lie to get the opportunity that you couldn’t get.

The best opportunities are always the ones you are not ready for. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity, you will get all the leftovers.

Lie to yourself and create your opportunities.

Tell everyone who you want to be not who you are today.

But lying wasn’t enough. I realized I have to cheat

CHEAT

I cheated on society.
I cheated on my friends.
I cheated on my family.
And most important of all, I cheated on myself.

If someone tells you that you can become successful without cheating on people.
They are lying.

Every decision we make in life will have positive impacts on some people and negative impacts on others. For every action, there is a reaction.

We cannot have it all. People tell you it to sell books. Someone needs to change self help books to feel good books.

Having it all is a dream that everyone wants to have.

In life you have the energy to focus on one thing and be very good at it.You cannot work on 10 different things and hope one of them will work out. You need to work harder and smarter than everyone. You need to figure out how to be better than everyone. That comes with a price.

Cheating means you need to stick with your vision and spend most of your time turning it into reality.
Cheating means you will do what is good for you instead of what you want to do.
Cheating means you learn to say no to others.
Cheating means being selfish.

I chose myself, I chose my dream, and decided to cheat on everyone including myself.

Many of you will tell me you cannot do it.

Here is the truth, if you cannot do it, you didn’t want it badly enough in the first place

Cheat on everyone and yourself to make it happen.

I have lied and cheated… but it wasn’t enough.

STEAL

If you steal an object, it will last until it is used up.
If you steal money, it will last until you spend it all.
If you steal power, one day you will lose it.
If you steal fame, one day it will fade.
If you steal people, they will last until someone else steals their hearts.
BUT …If you steal knowledge, it will be with you until your last breath.

There is a sea of knowledge out there, but why isn’t everyone successful?
Because people don’t appreciate things that they get for free.

People always go after things that they cannot have.
We are too busy trying to steal things that we cannot keep, and forgetting about knowledge.
Instead of trying to steal someone’s success, learn how they built it.
Steal their knowledge and build your own.
If you didn’t build something, it will never be yours.

The minute you try to stop learning, you start dying.

To be successful you need the right knowledge.
At any price, get them.

Steal knowledge

At this point I don’t have much left. I decided to kill.

KILL

I always ask myself why most people with passions never become successful.
The answer is simple, because they love something too much, they cannot see life clearly.
They don’t know when is the right time to kill their idea. They don’t know when to give up.

There is no bad or good idea. Every idea can be good if it is at the right time, right place and be executed by the right people. Every idea can be bad if at one of those three is missing.

Nothing is more dangerous is holding on something that is no longer relevant.

Time is your best friend, but it is also your worst enemy.
If you keep holding on to the past, you will miss the future.

We need to get over our fear and learn to kill our own ideas.
We have 2 ears for a reason. One to learn and the other is to unlearn.

Kill an idea.
Kill a concept.
Get rid of old knowledge.

You have to kill the old, to accept the new.

If you want to be successful, learn, unlearn and relearn.

Many years ago, a startup developed a podcasting platform and nobody was signing up.

They cheated on that project by having a side project. They stole different concepts and build a platform on top of them. That project showed a tiny bit of traction.They decided to betray all the supporters of the main project by killing it and focus on the side project. The CEO made an offer to all their investors. If anyone wanted their money back, he would personally buy their investment back at cost. 100% of the investors asked for their money back.

The startup lied to themselves the side project will become a success and worked very hard to make that happen even when nobody believed in them including some of the best investors in Silicon Valley

That side project was Twitter.

Their lies became reality and made them billionaires.

We wouldn’t have Twitter today if they didn’t lie, cheat, steal and kill.

Everything in life has 2 sides. Good and bad
You can decide which side you want to look at.
Every word is neutral.
We are the artist who can give it meaning.
You can look at Lie, Cheat, Steal and Kill and say they are bad words.
Or you can take action and show the positive sides of those words. It is your choice.

Success is not about chasing wealth.
Success is not about chasing power.
Success is not about chasing fame.
Success is about chasing what will make you happy.
Nobody knows exactly what is it except you.

Why are you letting society define who you are now and who you are going to be?
Why are you letting everyone to tell you how to live your life.

Don’t let your ideas die slowly in the back of your closet because you want to fit in.
If you want to fit in with the 99%. You will never become be the 1%

You live in a box.
You drive in a box.
You work in a box.
One day you will be buried in a box.
Don’t live your life in a box.

Think and live your life like there is no box

Lie. Cheat. Steal. Kill. Crush that box.

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Modern Parenting: Why You Should Crush Your Children

“Amore, I want my daughter to be exactly like you.”
“Don’t, she won’t have a good life. Smart women often don’t finish first,” I replied with an attitude.
“Her path will be smoothly carved, don’t you worry about that. Why do you think I still work 15 hours a day?”
I said nothing and sighed.

That is the difference between him and me.
He wants to give her the best, I want to prepare her for the worst. It scares me that he will give her too much. It made me think about how I am going to raise my children. Read more

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Why You Are the Source of All Your Problems

It all starts with you.

Don’t be a victim. Don’t make excuses. People don’t care about your problems.

A three-time millionaire who came up from nothing, dropped out of college with average IQ, said:

“The real inequality is the level of personal drive and intelligence.”

I framed the quote and have it on my desk to remind myself everyday.

You are poor. You are an immigrant. You live in a small town. You didn’t have rich parents. You are Asian. You are Black. You are a woman. You are homeless. You don’t have a college degree.

So did these billionaires:

  • Starbucks’ Howard Schultz grew up in a housing complex for the poor. – Net worth: 2.5 billion USD (2015)
  • John Paul DeJoria, the man behind a hair-care empire and Patron Tequila, once lived in a foster home and his car. – Net worth: 2.8 billion USD (2015)
  • Born into poverty, Oprah Winfrey became the first African American TV correspondent in Nashville. – Net worth: 3 billion USD (2015)
  • Luxury goods mogul Francois Pinault quit high school in 1974 after being bullied for being poor. – Net worth: 4.7 billion USD (2015)
  • At one time, businessman Shahid Khan washed dishes for $1.20 an hour. – Net worth: 5.1 billion USD (2015)
  • Forever 21 founder Do Won Chang worked as a janitor, gas station attendant, and in a coffee shop when he first moved to America. – Net worth: 6 billion USD (2015)
  • Ralph Lauren was once a clerk at Brooks Brothers dreaming of men’s ties. – Net worth: 7.2 billion USD (2015)
  • Leonardo Del Vecchio grew up in an orphanage and later worked in a factory where he lost part of his finger. – Net worth: 21 billion USD (2015)
  • Legendary trader George Soros survived the Nazi occupation of Hungary. He arrived in London as an impoverished college student. – Net worth: 24.2 billion USD (2015)
  • After his father died, business magnate Li Ka-shing had to quit school to help support his family. – Net worth: 33.5 billion USD (2015)
  • Oracle’s Larry Ellison dropped out of college after his adoptive mother died and held odd jobs for eight years. Net worth: 54.1 billion USD (2015)

Sources: Business Insider + Forbes

Life is hard. It doesn’t matter who you are, there are always things you cannot control. You can accept it and let it stop you from getting what you want. Or you can stop making an excuse for why you can’t fulfill your potential.

Unsuccessful people focus on what they cannot control and blame their failures on others.

Successful people focus on what they can control and blame their failures on themselves.

If you let things you cannot control define your success, you will lose before you even start.

The only person who can stop you is you.

Be a fighter, never take “NO” for an answer.

Because you are also the one person who can start.

 

This is part of my free ebook “35 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started My Business,” sign up here to be one of the first people to read it. 

Why You Need To Avoid Failure At All Cost

People often tell entrepreneurs to fail fast, fail often. That is a bad advice.

If failure equals experience, there would be more successful people.

Failure + Learning + Application = Experience

You fail. You learn from it. You apply what you have learned. If you don’t failure reshape your action, it will be a wasted experience. You suffered for nothing.

BUT

There’s a way for learning lessons without suffering failure.

If you learn from other people’s struggles, you can often just skip that step. Often it takes longer fix things than do it slow but right from the start.

Do your research.

Talk to people who have it before and ask for advice.

Measure and test everything.

Avoid failure at all cost.

I Love a Girl Who Swears, Backed by Science

I love a girl who swears because she expresses herself freely. She tells you what she thinks. Life is not a beauty pageant where you put on a fake smile to please men. (Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts)

I love a girl who swears. It helps her feel less pain. Swearing is cheaper than any short-term pain relief. Did you know that, swearing helps with cold-pressor pain tolerance, pain perception and heart rate too? (Keele’s School of Psychology)

Read more

Cry. Let It Out. The Pain Will Stop Once You Do This

The next time you are in pain, give yourself 5 minutes. Scream. Cry. Do whatever you want.

Then stop at the 5 minute mark.

And start turning that negative energy into actions.

Some days, we are sad.

Another day, we get mad.

Other days, we feel jealous.

Then there are times we miss someone.

There are moments when we want to hurt people. We feel so much hate.

Other times, we feel depressed and think the world is over.

These are common feelings that can show up daily or when we least expect them. They create negative energy in our lives.

People often say we need to eliminate the negative energy. There are entire schools of thought about negativity and how best to release it from our lives.

But the truth is, without pain there is no happiness. Everything will feel the same. Nobody will be able to feel anything.

Real life is not a self-help book that tells what you want to hear for the sake of driving book sales.  

Sometimes, life sucks. It just does.

You don’t have to think positive. Positive thinking often distracts you from dealing with your pain.

If you don’t deal with your negative energy, you will still carry it around everywhere.

Be selfish. Deal with your feelings in an unconventional way.

Convert feelings into actions.

Embrace the negative.

  • If you are sad, start sharing. Tell people what’s making you feel sad. Maybe your feelings and stories will show other people that they are not alone. And you’ll find out you’re not alone either.
  • If you miss someone, start writing about how he inspires you. Maybe it will become the next trending article.
  • If you hate someone, pick up his favorite book. Maybe it will help you understand him better.
  • If you are jealous or angry, learn a skill that your competitor is better at than you. Maybe one day you will surpass him.
  • If you want to kill yourself, do a random act of kindness. You will realize that many people still need you.

Let your negative energy inspire you into doing something you enjoy.

Don’t think, just do it.  Just convert all your pain into a new form.

Write a book. Paint a painting. Compose a song. Read a book. Cook some food. Go to the gym. Climb a mountain. Build a startup. Create some magic.

Do something you like. Don’t think about it, just do it.

When you are focusing on doing something, pain will convert from one form to another.  

If Therese Malfatti von Rohrenbach zu Dezza didn’t reject Beethoven’s proposal and marry someone else, we wouldn’t have Für Elise.

You may not be Beethoven, but that doesn’t mean your pain can’t help you create something wonderful.

Someone’s pain can be another person’s treasure.

Don’t think. Just do something.

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Don’t Date A Man Who Reads

Don’t date a man who reads. He will be interesting. Your romantic dates will be like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Your late night conversation will take hours to end. He will throw ideas and expect you to bounce something back. Brain exercises are not for the lazies.

Don’t date a man who reads. He is fine spending time on his own. He can entertain himself for hours with or without you. A Brief History of Time might be your worst enemy. You might wonder if he is having an affair with Emma or Jane Eyre. You will always have to share his time with books. And, when you work late, he won’t get upset; books will keep him company. Read more

You Will Always Suck At What You Do, Until You Do This

Your first 100 blog posts will mostly suck.

Your first 100 podcasts will mostly suck too.

Your first 100 talks will not be perfect.

Your first 100 videos will be nightmares.

Read more

Why I Stopped Helping People And You Should Too

My mother taught me never to give unsolicited advice, nor try to help anyone unless they ask you for it. I always thought that maybe she was just cold. As I get older, I have started to realize that she was right. My mother is one of the kindest people in my life.

Society always emphasizes on the need to help people. I do it too.

They tell you that you should help people unconditionally and when they least expect it. None of that is, of course, wrong. Random acts of kindness can change a person’s life in many instances. However, there is a flip side to every coin. And it is essential not to mask the other half of the impact of any such gesture. Read more